I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
