Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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