So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
