last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize