no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize