did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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