I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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