I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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