the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
