Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Soap is not a condiment
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
