Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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