How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
