wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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