I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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