Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
