I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
