My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I can't put those talents on a resume
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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