Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
