M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Randomize
