i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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