Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
