That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
