Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
