Will you blow on my dice?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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