seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
nutella sex= disaster
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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