I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
