she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Randomize
