8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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