well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
