yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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