He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
