Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
