every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize