That's intense
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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