Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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