i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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