Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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