what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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