Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
