...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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