please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
