Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
