There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
So vagazzling was a success
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