I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
