i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
