Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
