I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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