i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
