She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
