We're like a lot better than the average bears
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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