I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
