We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
