Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
