I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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