There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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