I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
